Fear...

Everyone has some sort of fear in their life, whether its fear of highs or spiders. Well as I grew up and started learning things about myself I realized that I fear lots of different things. I despise public speaking, if I can get out of it I most definitely will but over time I have forced myself little by little to get over that fear. Just on Monday my work has what is called All Staff Training Day, its where the entire company can come together under one roof and get to know each other and learn about the new changes that will be made within the company. Well they were telling us about a new system we are getting and I had a question about it and for about 3 minutes I argued in my head whether or not if I should just ask the question or wait till the next day and ask when i'm not in a big group of people. I ended up raising my hand and asking the question and I could feel my body temperature rise and my face getting red, as I was speaking I started to sweat. I was so fearful and no one else knew that I was afraid of asking my question and that is fine with me.

I also have a learning disability, so in school I had a few special teachers that would go to almost every class with me and every time I had a test to take I would go into their office and they would read each question to me. Only because when I read a book or anything once I got started shortly after that I would forget what I read before, it's like my brain just shut off or my mind would wander. It was so hard to focus on anything and back then I was young and didn't know how to control it. When I had those teachers following me I felt like the stupid kid in school and I begged my mom to make them stop and of course the answer was always no because she knew that in order for me to do well in school I needed that help. As a kid I didn't quite understand it but now as an adult I am so great full that I have a mother who knew I needed help and took action and I am so great full for those teachers who did everything they could to help me get through school.

Thanks for reading and there will be more to come over time!

Love Always,

Ash