Anxiety

I use to hate going places by myself, I would get overwhelmed and couldn't find what I was looking for. I would freak out inside and tried to not let anyone see it. It had been years since I had felt like that. Then a few months ago I had went into a different grocery store only because it was closer to my work. I was in there about 10 minutes looking at my list of and crossing things off as I put them in the cart. I started to walk further into the store and all of a sudden it hit me... My heart was racing, I started to sweat and I felt like everyone was starring at me. Everything started to get blurry and all I could think was I have to get out of here. I debated to go to the check out like or just leave. I made my way to the check out and time began to slow down. The girl in front of me was arguing about a price with the cashier and the older guy behind me was standing a little too close and that just made it 100 times worse. I paid for my items and walked out as fast as I could. Once I got it all in the car and got in I started to ball. I was so scared and so mad at myself. I was scared that it was all happening again, just like it use to and scared that it was going to continue. I was so mad for letting it happen and letting myself get that worked up and not taking control. I was so embarrassed, I felt like a failure. Not many know how hard I struggle with anxiety.

Over the years I had worked so hard to control that feeling and that day feels like I took a million steps backwards. Since then I havent went back nor have felt that way. I can't explain why it happens. All I know is that I have to overcome this I don't want it to get out of control and take over my life again. If you have ever had this happen to you, know that you are not alone. It takes time and hard work to control it. I have learned there are setbacks. Now that I have overcome this once I am strong enough to overcome it again!

Love Always,

Ash